inthisplace

Blah!

2006-02-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

you breathed a world you didn't see

2005-11-16T23:20:00.000-08:00

a little nose on a smaller face
the rubbery tips of your eager fingers
a twisted little frame, floating
dreaming of dry-land and apple-sauce

i am passionate about theatre

2005-10-31T22:31:00.000-08:00

More specifically, I'm passionate about God working through the medium of theatre. I'm passionate about changing lives; not to conform people to think just like I think, but to present them with spiritual realities through a physical medium. I'm passionate about engaging people in meaningful conversations about what really matters and what is actually relevant. I am passionate about passionate people working together. I am passionate about destroying false essential beliefs in what are really nonessentials that draw barriers between us and everyone else. I am passionate about what I believe is the ultimate world view. I am passionate about God using me, not me using God. I am passionate about love, because without it, all of these things I'm passionate about are useless endeavors.

blogs are dead.

2005-10-25T23:29:00.000-07:00

They are.

go see village of idiots

2005-10-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

Are you an idiot? Well, you must be if you haven't seen it yet. By it I mean "Village of Idiots", which is running Tuesday - Saturday at the U of L this week. I saw said show yesterday (opening night) and it was fantabulous! Not to mention the most beautiful girl in Lethbridge, Lindsey Zess, is in it!!!

questions

2005-10-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

Who am I?
How do you see me?
Do you believe in me?
Do I believe in you?

What do you think?

Do you know your name?
Do you love the sound of mine?
Who do you want to talk to most?
Am I on your list?

Have I hurt you?
Are you as scared as I am?
Have I helped you grow?
Am I a burden?
Are you bored?

Who do you love most?
What do you love most?
Where do you love most?
Why?

Good memories or bad?
Happy?

Where are you?

turkey.

2005-10-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

will i meet you this thanksgiving?

sick feeling.

2005-10-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

where are you?

no phone. no internet.

2005-10-05T15:28:00.000-07:00

I feel like somebody's kidnapped my soul for a week. Well, at least I would feel that way if I were the hardenest-core-geek. But I guess I'm not hard-core unless I live hardcore... though I'm still pretty choked about being disconnected. Our friends upstairs who we shared a phone-line and subsequently an internet account with have moved on to a new apartment and we're left without those things which make up a geeks nectar (and the lifeblood of my economical well-being).

So here I am. I'm a Lindsey and Steen's place for the week leeching their internet and phone. Good times.

brother got married!

2005-10-02T17:58:00.000-07:00

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Funk. Yup.

things and junk (how many times have I used that headline?)

2005-09-29T08:57:00.000-07:00

My Family is coming to Lethbridge this evening!!! The (!) means I'm excited. The coolest part is my younger brother Gideon is going to stay at my house for the next couple of days which means we'll be hanging outs. Which means we'll probably have a Jackie Chan movie-fest and play some X-Box and I'll forget how sick I am. This saturday my brother and Charmaine are finally getting married. I'm a physically ill groomsmen wearing a rented suite I can't afford. Sunday is Lindsey's B-Day!!! Which reminds me, I gotta bake a cake!

2005-09-24T15:49:00.000-07:00

So the bachelor-party was alright, save for the lack of moderation on certain parties behalf's.

I ended up comming home last night at about 2:30am with a two friends of mine. It was cold in waterton! I'm already sick and there was no way I was going to attempt to sleep in five-below (even if I had brought two sleeping-bags).

i never write in this thing

2005-09-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

I found out my brother was engaged through a friend of his friend's friend. The other week I find out he's moved back to Manitoba to work before the wedding through somebody at church. Today I get invited to his bachelor's party, which is tonight, in Waterton. Oh, ya... My brothers back in town.

come what may

2005-09-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

I love you.

2005-09-11T22:05:00.001-07:00

So here's the scoop:

I got called back for a second audition along with Lindsey. Unfortunately my tonsils were the size of marbles the day of call-backs and I had been seemingly zapped of all strength and forgot any form of "a-game" at home (along with mountains of used kleenex). So, needless to say, I didn't receive a role in this most awesome play, but praise the Lord who answers prayers, Lindsey did! AND. Not only did she receive "a role" but "the role" she and I both thought was the most interesting and dynamic character in the play.

GOD IS GOOD.

"God, you are good!!!"

I might have acted a little "bummed" about not receiving a part (not even a tiny walk-on part) but all-in-all I feel extremely blessed to have had such an opportunity and I am insanely encouraged by my call-back. I now feel as though this small step of obedience is the first most important leap into presently re-activating these gifts God has given me and moving into the places He's calling me and has been calling me.

Werd!!!

5-minute talents, 2-minute performances

2005-09-06T01:35:00.000-07:00

So Lindsey put together this monologue/story in about 5 minutes the other day so I had something to bring to my audition this Wednesday. Anyway, I made a few changes to some words and added a couple of things in bracets - so if there's anything you don't think is amazing, it's probably something I added.

Here it is:

Fat Lady

So last summer I set up a little portrait drawing booth at my hometown's local fair. I made a couple of sketches from celebrity magazines, you know; to showcase my art. Brad Pitt—that was my best one—Drew Barrymore, Jim Carrey... they were pretty good sketches (admires himself, then continues confused) but I was getting no business (pause) until this one lady plops down on my stool.

Now she's a big lady, and she's wearing this really unflattering mumu-type number. In one hand she's clutching the biggest bag of mini donuts I've ever seen and in the other she's got a newspaper that she's using to fan herself. "Make me look like Brad Pitt", she says. I swallow a thousand sarcastic remarks and get to work. It probably took half an hour, and the whole time she's fanning the sweat down her face with the Stavely Times. And I'm trying to suppress laughter, deciding wether or not to add the sparkly little beads of sweat to the picture. *Cough* But that's unprofessional.

So I manage to fit the sheer girth of this woman on one piece of paper, and I triumphantly unveil my masterpiece. Immediately she starts huffing and puffing and says she won't pay for it. I get really insulted. I tell her that it's probably the best drawing I've ever done and exquisitely true to life. That really sets her off. She starts yelling at me and says I made her look fat. I lose my temper, and tell her that it's clearly overeating and lack of exercise that makes her look fat... Man you should have seen the look on her face. She takes Brad Pitt, rips him clear in half, and goes lumbering away screaming curses on me, my ancestors, and my descendants. It was a terrible experience... but that picture really was the best I've ever done. (pause) I hung it up in my bathroom.

STEEN DAY!!!

2005-08-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome back Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!!!

YOU are good.

2005-08-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

And that's all that needs to be said. :)!

PSP Web Browser

2005-08-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

This entry was created on my PSP (Playstasion Portable)

in my head, as we often do

2005-07-30T00:07:00.000-07:00

"Why are we so willing to believe the worst is true?"

"Because bad things happen more then good."

"Do they? Or do we catalogue the bad and loose track of the good. Is it that we are so prepared for the worst we tune out the good?

"..."

"I think it's about high tide we cease giving bad more merit then good! After-all, it's the shadows that vanish when light enters the room, not the other way around."

enough

2005-07-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm waiting for either one of two things: The ceiling to fall on me, or for you to come sliding down the stairwell...

anakan lives!

2005-07-26T20:32:00.000-07:00

Heb 6:19
This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God's inner sanctuary.

things

2005-07-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

"Hello World..."

Ok. That quote is more geek then you'll ever know (and I don't feel like explaining it either).

Some people get married and others have to watch. They watch. They watch and they dream about how much more beautiful and magical they're own wedding will be. The worst of it is when they return from this dream the wedding before them has become that much duller and that much less magical...

I'm sorry I dreamed about mine during yours. It was lovely, it really was. [x]

me again

2005-07-19T20:54:00.001-07:00

Can it be?!!

Another post on Joel's (now infamous) journal?

Yup, sure is - although I'm not sure what I'll write about as I begin this... but we'll see what we see.

Once again I feel like a "Consumer-hore"; a phrase my roommate an I coined about a year ago. It's so easy to want things and to fall into a pattern of the "Mindless-consumer". I bought a PSP (Playstation Portable). I thought of a million reasons why I should buy one, and most of them where pretty good - but I've been thinking about my PSP far too much these past few days and that doesn't feel good. It's one thing to be excited, its another thing to have trouble sleeping. On the bright side of things - a PSP is pretty much a PDA that has the ability to play immersive 3d games (a PDA on steroids). I'm hoping I'll be able to download the bible to my PSP soon (that'll be handy).

I saw my family last week. Well my family minus Gideon. Boy do I miss that guy. Coincidentally Lindsey also saw/met my family last week and it seems that the feelings are mutual (she loves them/they love her). I didn't think it could be any other way; my families great and Lindsey's great - it just makes sense.

My employer has now officially moved to Calgary and I've been on an invisible clock ever since. Time is slowly ticking and the twitching hour hand is trying to convince me to move to Cow-town. I've got about a year or so to make a decision and then after that (despite the fact I am quite able to work from Lethbridge) I'll loose my job. My comfort is, God knew about all this before it even happened and if I'm not suppose to move to Calgary he'll provide another source of income.

Lindsey, Steen, Marcia, Anonymous - Thanks for commenting on my blog and encouraging me to write in this thing. You're rad, the lot of ya! God's INTENSE blessings!

thank you

2005-07-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a million years.

Sorry to everyone who actually visits my journal because it's their only thread into my life. I've been doing the same things with a few new aditions. God is doing a major work in my life and convicting me of things I never knew I stuggled with. It's all for Him, I have to remember that - it's so easy to be consumed by my own little world, my own desires, what *I* want, what looks good for *me*.

"Do this in rememberance of me..."

I enter and exit Your reality [truth] casually. Sometimes I wonder how much longer you'll put up with me. I am Peter; One moment I'm walking on water and in an instant I'm consumed by the storm. I'm watching the waves and you're telling me they don't matter. It's as if I... if I could just look at Your face the world would give up trying to impress me because I've caught hold something FAR MORE impressive.

How wonderful it is to belong to Him. I've often felt like the prodical son and even though I was the worst candidate, he still give me His inheritance. More than that, I've ineriteded all the love in the cosmos - because my Father is love.

Here me, Lord - I LOVE YOU BACK!

...

2005-06-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

ONE MORE SLEEPS!

you know who you are

2005-06-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

you're the record i won't stop playing
and keep long after you do
you're the sun and i won't stop staring
so my blind eyes won't forget you

missing you just won't do

2005-06-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

i'm overdue to see you face

for steen

2005-06-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

Steen, do you know that you're missed? Do you know that me and Linds have arguments about weather or not you really do have a Brooklyn accent? Do you know that you deserve hugs, and LOTS of them? (I'll let Lindsey deliver most of those since I'm not so sure you're all that comfortable with my hugs yet). I hear you're working 27 hours a day, 8 days a week - somewhere nearer the Arctic Circle? Oh, Steeners. Know that'll all be over soon and you will indeed put a dent in your financial debt - even better, think of kicking off your shoes and reclining in your new apartment with a cool lemonade in one hand and an overdue assignment in the other... Isn't life sweet?

Missin you as others do.
~Joel

k, forserious.

2005-06-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

So we asked God for a better apartment with cheeper rent (and a dishwasher! - lz) and guess what happened? Oh, about an hour later give or take a few minutes Lindsey was signing a 12 month lease for a kick-ass condo about 3 blocks from the University. Oh, and it has: a washer and dryer, giant living room, a den, balcony, it's on the top floor, 2 bedrooms, bathroom with tub, pirate kitchen, and A DISHWASHER! Plus the only utility she pays in electricity which averages about 50 bucks a month (*werd!*). Any questions? God is good! Thanks G!

how did i get here?

2005-06-01T09:04:00.000-07:00

Where did everybody go? What happened to our real-life sitcom? Sometimes I imagine I'm back on the roof at our old apartment - There's magic in the air; it tickles my nose. I'm talking to the brightest stars through branches and leaves, "You're a City-star", I say, "because I can see you through the smog..."

things...

2005-05-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

I need to get back to a more personal and intimate relationship with Christ. For a while now I've put our relationship on hold to when it was most conveniant to me - when I had time for him. Truth is He has enabled me to have everything that He desires to have with me/for me - He's enabled you (think about it). The lie is: I don't have enough time to for God, I don't have enough time to develope our relationship to where I'd really like us to be right now. The truth: God is the creator of everything, even our linear world. God will NOT punish me for spending time with him. I am NEVER wasting time when I'm spending it with the Lord.

My boss has given me an extra hour in the morning before work! Thanks Lord, you wont regret it!

day-dreamer

2005-05-25T13:03:00.000-07:00

I hope you had a wonderful sleep and are reading this feeling rested and refreshed - I hope sunbeams are tickling the back of your neck. There is a little bird singing outside my office window - I imagine he's a Messenger Pigeon and I dictate to him sweet-nothings and give him an address - your address. We discuss the possibility of the existence of dragons, and how if they were trained in the ways of a Messenger Pigeon they could deliver you - to me. It's a silly thought, but I haven't learned to think any other way. I'm day-dreaming now - I guess I was before, only now I'm aware of it. You and I our drifting in a small canoe along a mountain-valley somewhere. It's unusually warm where we are - the water is so clear we can see the riverbed 30 feet below. With the faint relfection of clouds and blue sky, it feels like we're flying. Our boat has become a magic carpet and I sing to you the appropriate Disney song and you've tackled me and we're kissing before I could finish. All I'm aware of now is you - how much I love you - how much I fear to loose you and how quickly that fear disintegrates.

spring-cleaning

2005-05-24T18:00:00.001-07:00

It's easy to want the future today - so many things I know will some day be, but someday is sometimes just too far away. Have I hit a brick wall, am I caught in quick sand? Whatever 'it' is, I don't feel quick at all. This isn't abnormal either; I've often felt as if nothing was happening to me. Actually it's usually in these times that the most is occurring, I'm just not aware of it until later. Maybe I'm at the car wash, only I'm the car. Absolutely everything that was once inside has now surrounded me - I am forbidden to move or I'll crush atleast parts of myself. Ooo, what are you little guy?

long-weekend

2005-05-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

I love holidays! Although you couldn't really call Victoria Day a "[Holy]-day", but the time and rest is still appreciated. Here's to you our aging monarchy.

I just got back from four days of camping with Lindsey and her Fams. I don't have a lot of time to explain all of our adventures because we're taking off to see some "Episode III" at any moment. Just know that there were ducks and tiny ducklings involved and, and...

Bye now.

joel was last seen hugging a cloud

2005-05-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Good morning, morning. I'm sorry I haven't said "thank you" or "good morning-morning" in such a long while. You've been so beautiful and I didn't even think twice about it. Here, a smile to maybe warm your day - I know it's not much but if you collect enough of them...

a greyhound stole my girlfriend

2005-05-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

You left this morning. I wanted to leave too. I wanted to forget that there is order and good timing, that jobs are important, and most importantly I wanted to forget that you live more then 200 miles away. I feel selfish, because I want you to be here and not there. I want to be able to throw stones at your window and steal you in the middle of the night. I want to pick you up from school (or just pick you up), be able to bring you flowers, and randomly show up at your place of business with a Wendy's Jr. Frosty. I want to by you gifts for anniversary's you never knew we had, I want to hide wild-flowers in your apartment for you to find when you get home. I want you to know that I can be there at a moments notice, that you never have to miss me and I you. I want to make completely random t-shirts that only you and I will fully understand. I want to challenge you to a race, only I give myself a handicap and you a head-start AND I do the entire distance as Terry Fox. I want to burry you under pillows and then call out for you as if I misplaced my girlfriend. I want to laugh and I want you be there when I'm laughing and I want you to laugh at me. I want to stick my finger in your mouth when you're yawning or try to pick your nose while we're watching a movie. I want to Snug you till sun goes down.

I know you're there.
I want you here.
I love you a Googolplex!

i'm back.

2005-05-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

And that is all for now.

i'm in vancouver

2005-05-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

Hey Peeps.

I made it.

It's very green.

That is all for now.

Joel.

vancouver bound...

2005-04-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written anything in here for a while and no appologize. I'm writting in here now.

I'm going to Vancouver next week for the entire first week of May. I'm meeting my Mom at the YWCA Hotel and for the next 5 days or so I'll discover the west coast with her. I'm duper-excited! It's going to cost me a bit of money and once again when I get back I won't be able to purchase any new foods for another two weeks and possible another month...

I'm now an official "employee" at my job (as appose to being a private contractor) and I even get all the official taxes and things taken off my biweekly cheques :( I need to have some kind of budget.

Lindsey's all moved into her purple room in Calgary while I'm slowly getting forced out of mine (from the growing amount of garbage). Speaking of gorgeous - she's visiting this afternoon. *dances*

Until next time Gadget, next time!

hmm....

2005-04-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

Where will I be two years from now?

(!)

2005-04-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

Lindsey's play is today!!! And if it were appropriate (which is not) I would bring a big foam finger and a horn and a couple of corn dogs to tie me over. Never fear, I'll still be there to support my favorite team, only with less mustard and with more silent screams.

*Hugs* *Snugs* *Bed Bugs*

To Earl of Earl's: Your Cajun Chicken salad tasted something like stale lettus with dirt instead of croutons. The conversation of Humans and Spirits made up for your inability to entertain my taste-buds. Thus, you are forgiven (though there are no plans to attend your table again in the near future). A Tip: Practicing current health-standards may bode well for your business in the future.

life (not the cereal)

2005-04-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

Life can sometimes seem as complicated as our philosophical conversations. There is a peace I find in Him, a peace that I cannot explain, a secret place you cannot go.

Search me O God and know my heart. Try me, and no me anxieties. See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Amen.

another day, another episode

2005-04-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

My Day:

1. Amazing sleeps in new bed with new giant blanket and equally enormous pillows.
2. Contemplates quitting geek-job to sleep in said bed a little longer.
3. Goes to work and learns/unlearns things (only invisible progress was made).
4. Meets a beautiful singing-siren by the lake for a walk and eventual drowning.
5. Supper with the Williams-clowns
6. Stargate (The Movie, not the TV series).
7. Survivor.
8. The Apprentice (For Shame).
9. Home, bed... Bed!
10. Why do I feel compelled to have a number 10?

the truth

2005-04-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

I'm weird lookin...

Or maybe I'm just weird all-around.

warmer weather

2005-03-30T12:53:00.000-08:00

The need to clean things is piling up much like the things I need to clean. I'm not entirely procrastinating if I'm refusing to clean because it's not my own mess, right? We live like animals, only they'd probably keep a cleaner kitchen. I think I'll protest cleaning for another day - I'll play my guitar instead. I'm also contemplating sleeping in my car tonight, only because its so cozy in there, that or it smells like memories I haven't felt in a while. I have an uncommon urge to build a tree-house but alas posses no tree in which I could legally do so. The city has its limits, the country has its lack.

here. now. me. home. back.

2005-03-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

I'm back! Lethbridge never looked so good.

Lindsey, where are you?

Sorry to everyone in Tobes that was hoping to see me - I only had three days on your frozen soil and the Fam got dibs on me the entire time. Still love you and hope to see you in the summer when I come out again.

Things

2005-03-25T14:33:00.000-08:00

I made it. I'm here. Manitoba.

It's good to be here, it's good to see my family, if I ever go Blind I'd still know my way around this place.

The Gospel of John is almost as amazing as a film as it is a Gospel and you should see it/read it.

My little brother is obsesive-compulsive.

My dogs are escape artists.

I miss Lindsey.

By Faith (Hebrews 11)

2005-03-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2This is what the ancients were commended for.

   3By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 4By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.

  5By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

   7By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

   8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

   11By faith Abraham, even though he was past age–and Sarah herself was barren–was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.

   13All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country–a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

   17By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” 19Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.

   20By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.

   21By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

   22By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.

   23By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.

   24By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. 25He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. 26He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.

   29By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.

   30By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.

   31By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.

   32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated– 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

   39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

lullaby

2005-03-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

The sun shines
and leaves blow
and my hope like autumn
is turning brown.
And I know it seems like
I'm always falling down.

But it does not matter to me although it seems like it should.
It's because I know I'm understood when I hear Him say
"Rest in me, little David and dry all your tears, you can lay down your armor and have no fear cause I'm always here when your tired of running, and I'm all the strength that you need".

It's up hill
both ways,
tomorrow I swear
I won't act this way.
And I know it seems like
that is what I always say.

But it does not matter to me although it seems like it should.
It's because I know I'm understood when I hear Him say
"Rest in me, little David and dry all your tears, you can lay down your armor and have no fear cause I'm always here when your tired of running, cause I'm all the strength that you need."

You know I want to be like Jesus,
but it seems so very far away,
and when will I learn to obey, obey?

Lullaby - Pedro the Lion

unshowered, two pairs of sweat-pants, and birds-nest hairs

2005-03-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

I'm having one of those, "I wish I were somewhere else and doing something different"-days. Ofcourse I want to take all of you with me - wherever that is.

I need a good puppet-show to cheer me up. Puppet-show, soup and crackers, and a good snugs.

rest in me, little david.

2005-03-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

I'm going home for Easter (AKA Resurrection Day)!!! I'm sew pumped! Which reminds me, when is someone going to make me a cape?

I saw my brother Matt today (for the first time since Christmas) and we went out to Montanas for Lunch (never been there before). I like all the wood in Montanas, I like wood. I had some chicken-wrap-thing that was spose' to be amazing - only I didn't think so. The company at the table ontheotherhand was quite amazing! It ended up being more then a few of us from the Gate there, one being Russ's younger brother, Jared, which is a friend of mine from back home - who just happens to be going to Manitoba for Easter this thursday - AND he invited me to sit between him and another friend for a 13 hour tripp (intentional second 'p' is a tribute to Phill) in a little pickup back to Tobes. *Werd*

Also super-duper exciting is: I was telling Charmaines about mine and lindsey's love for puppets today and she (Charmaines) is offering me and Lindsey an opportunity to do puppet shows at "Kids Church" at Victory. Sooooo excited! Lindsey's eyes got all big when I told her and I think a little puppet leaped inside of me also.

I finally got the correct batteries (1.5V not 1.2V) for the MP3 player Lindsey lent me (until I get an iPod) - This thing will come in handy on the trip to Toba. Lindsey I'm sending you a song to your emails and you have to listen to it. It's pretty like you.

His Peace,
~Joels~

Nothing I can do could ever repay you...

2005-03-17T22:26:00.000-08:00

Lord, thank you SOOOOOOOOO much!

I love you Jesus!

Sometimes I speak like a human

2005-03-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

Umm... did anyone see the snow outside? Sick! And... pretty. Why does snow haveta' be made of cold stuff? Anywhosers - it'll probably melt in a day or two along with my hated towards the cold.

So I meant to do all kinds of exciting things today that, of-course, never got done at all. I did, ontheotherhand, get to watch Survivor tonight (what a treat). I even went to the nearest gas-station and bought Doritos and a bottle of Mountain due just like they eat on Survivor. During my personal Survivor-fest Shawn borrowed my four thousand dollar laptop for a couple of hours to burn a one dollar CD.

Yesterday I went to Michael's with Lindsey and I bought seventy Canadian dollars worth of art supplies. I bought five tubes of water-colors, paint-brushes, sixty-four crayons, sixty markers, four canvasses, and one pink t-shirt (soon to be the coolest pink t-shirt in the history of shirts portraying puppets and their rights to be).

Wishing I was watching some bad theatre and laughing at external plots that are never explained nor serve any purpose in the dialogue.

ColorMe: Disgruntled.

wunderbar

2005-03-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

ColorMe: Jesus'd!

the man with the yellow hat

2005-03-13T23:02:00.000-08:00

There's more to be said, and I promise - when I learn enough words I'll explain why I've been nothing but puddles lately. That gives me an idea; Do you own a pare of rubber-boots? Let's dress like we own curious monkeys and pretend our feet our roots.

I'm five.

2005-03-12T02:00:00.000-08:00

My voice sounds different when no-ones around
I think its cuz' there's less bodies absorbing my sound
I'm a Comicozzi piloting a box-car to heaven
Won't you hop in and we'll all pretend we're eleven

()

2005-03-11T17:20:00.000-08:00

I want to be anything but stale
I want to see past the vail
I want to break and be broken again
Only do it in that place where I can see Your face

Who said I was worthy or had to be
Because you are Love I know that you love me

only you could make throwing-up fun

2005-03-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

Thanks for coming over and watching survivor with me even though its not your thing.

Thanks for making me laugh almost as much as I make you laugh. *barfs*

Thanks for just being, and/or thanks God for that one!

You're my rushmore.

(joel 2:13)

2005-03-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

�Time is ticking away and it is ticking away fast. A world is lost in sin and the Church has gone astray. It is the final hour and God is calling: �Rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God�!

gay marraige? let the people decide.

2005-03-08T10:47:00.000-08:00

No matter where you stand on same-sex marriage...

No matter which side you think would win...

Canada needs a national referendum!

Fundamental changes in public policy must be decided by the public -- certainly not by unaccountable judges, nor even necessarily by elected politicians.

Send a signed letter to Prime Minister Paul Martin asking him to hold a national referendum on the definition of marriage.

paint a smile on my wooden face

2005-03-08T08:48:00.001-08:00

Trying to draw you has proven harder then I thought
Your so unreal and reality is all I've been taught
My lines are uncontrolled and often leave the page
I think it's because you weren't meant for paper, you where meant for stage
Lets reclaim our words because some may have lost their meaning
Like all my 'I love you's' that are stuck on your ceiling
Or when I say you're beautiful and it bounces off
Or it's drown in the sound of that prehistoric cough
Which by the way I hope you get checked out
(After-all) If I'm going to raise a litter of puppets, I'll need your help

today is a good day

2005-03-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get caught dreaming about being married someday? I caught myself just now. *Feeling sheepish*

To my fellow Lethbridge-ians: If you don't already - practice getting up intime to hear the birds sing and to experience the morning chill fleeting with the rising sun. I love this town.

Aww, 'skatepark memories'. Where are you Erika?

(Muslix saved me from starvation)

I love you. Ya you! *points political-finger and does George Warshington face*

your proof

2005-03-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

Jesus is real!

what's your happy thought?

2005-03-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

It's time I put something up. This is worse then a dry cup. It's nothing but stale round here.

There's an inherit need to see color, so burry me in fall leaves. These white walls are closing in.

I don't know what took me so long. I'm almost too far gone. The lack of anything is clear.

And this clarity is a murderer. I hope he kills the furniture and I'll put pillows out instead.

Instead of floors, let's use trampolines. Instead of ceilings, we'll hang a trapeze. Instead of people we'll live with monkeys. Absurdity instead of sanity.

Instead of years we'll age by weight. Numbers will just be shapes. Letters? Only on top of cakes! On sunny days we'll all dance with rakes.

Instead of boring, we'll be ourselves. Instead of useless, we'll just be loud. Instead of lonely, we'll all hang out - every night in someone else's Tree House.

Instead of familiar we'll always shake hands. Instead of pianos lessons we'll learn rubber bands. Instead of the working class we'll all be The Man and throw the populous into a perpetual vacation.

Instead of long songs without an ending we'll cut off a thought but we'll never stop pretending.

brown is my all-time favoritest color

2005-03-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

Go tell the nurse to turn the TV back on, and throw away my misery. It never meant that much to me. It never sent a Get Well card.

burn the old, spare the knew

2005-03-02T21:59:00.000-08:00

Let's burn the bridges as we cross them
Set ablaze the passing days
Heir to those now behind us
New fossil-fuels found in dead memories

only you

2005-03-02T08:26:00.000-08:00

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:25-26

somethan'

2005-03-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

I think I'm right to assume that everyone who has visited this journal in the last little while has been disappointed - including myself. I'm so-wee guys. Right now there's a loop from that Pringles commercial in my mind, "where's your head at!" If I had a tube of Pringles I might have an answer for you but lately I've lost my mind maybe my marbles too. I think I'll go find Toodles and we'll sulk together.

But seriously, not everything is a giant hole of lack in my life. There are a lot of things to rejoice about, like how our relationship has passed through fire virtually unscaved, like how I lost two childhood friends in a car accident but they're rockin out in heaven now (which is better). Happy, because I've decided to move passionately in the direction of my passion (theatre). I've taken out my plugs and the closing sphincter is almost like a door being shut and I'm glad, I don't wanna go back to waiting - I'm sick of waiting! I want everything the Lord has for me and I'm confident He feels the same.

*excited face*

dream.

2005-02-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

Hold fast to what is good.

SONday

2005-02-27T12:14:00.000-08:00

I missed church this morning and so did Chris - who, I guess, relies on me to wake him up Sundays. And now I've slept too much, AKA over-slept, and my head is throbbing. The best thing I can do right now is get some bible in me and pray about this head-ache.

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." - Jesus (John 10:10)

tattoo-ed on my heart

2005-02-26T12:46:00.000-08:00

I love my Mom!

umm...

2005-02-25T17:51:00.000-08:00

They lowered my ears a tad too much, but other then that - I'm quite happy!

heal click

2005-02-25T12:38:00.000-08:00

I'm getting my ears lowered AKA my hair cut today. Yippee!

purvis night

2005-02-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

Yea, we're having a purvis night tonight - AND they invited the Funk!

morning reflections

2005-02-23T08:06:00.000-08:00

Black sweat-pants (AKA, "A sweater for your legs) and a black hoodie... I feel like a ninja.

I'm comfortable, I'm cozy, I'm just a little bit dozy. What are you doing today, where do you plan to go? How many shooting stars have you seen, how many do you still hold? I'm ready to understand forever...

<3

too much to tell

2005-02-21T22:52:00.000-08:00

Hello Wonderfuls, it's great to be back! And at the same time I wish this weekend never ended. Me and Lindsey had an AMAZING time in Calgary/Fort McMurry/Calgary this weekend and I'd love to tell you all about it. But since telling you all about it would require more of my time then I'm willing share right now, you'll have to seddle for some.

1. Buses are most uncomfortable places.
(but a girlfriend and the proper snuggle position can make any place feel cozy,warm, and safe.)
2. I might unwillingly have come off as a dumb person (intellectually) at one time or another.
3. Children love the spotlight and if it's on them they'll claim it as their own... they'll even extend a line if it means extended their time in that shine.
4. Children in a moment of *quote, unquote* "good theatre" can give me the shiver-ies.
5. I love Amy and Justin like they'll never know.
6. Fort McMurry made me think of penquins more then once, but I also loved it there and wish I could stay and join the theatre program at Keyano College for a while.
7. Returning bus-rides feel much shorter.
8. I love Lindsey's family very much and had equally wonderful experiences at both locations in Calgary.
9. I spent more then 100 hours with Lindsey this weekend and neither one of us is sick of the other (unless she's a lier).
10. God is 100% responsible for all these good things. In fact, He's totally responsible for ALL the good things, ever!

PS - Thanks "G"

freshly pressed

2005-02-17T15:08:00.000-08:00

So wonderful things! I've completed my last day of work this week and I just sent off the final design option to a personal client on mine in Manitoba. Ooo, and even though I found out fourth-hand I am still excited that a member of my family is getting married! Possibly a brother... *Dooper excited* Me and Linds are going to Fort Mac and Calgary this weekend to meet her best friend and fam. Well, she's met them - I'll be doing the meeting... of the people.

I've got three PUNK ASS posters to do and then I'm stressLESS for our adventuRESS-weekend!

Thems werds us's makes yup shald bie thur onla werds us's yoose tas' commicates, nopes?

the depression wasn't that depressing - if you were a newsie

2005-02-16T11:51:00.000-08:00

Do you ever think about where you are today and remember where you were a year or two ago... and then throw-up because your brain and body reject the absurdity of change from then until now? Well, something like that just happened to me, only I didn't spew half-digested chunks of bachelor food on my living-room floor (though if I had, it would have landed on-top of the mass amounts of paper garbage and 'have been alright).

I'm happy. I am just... happy.

Tonight I'm seeing theatre with the most cute/pretty girl I know - possible in the whole word (my hypothesis).

Ahh! *Joy* the "Newsies" came in for me at HMV today. Ahh!!!

if we got the veterans involved in just this one day it would make things a whole lot less confusing

2005-02-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

So today is February 14th, A.K.A. Valentines Day, A.K.A. VDay (not to be mistaken with Veterans day). I have no monies at all, nothing special planned, and I've got no Barry White songs that I'm itchen to throw down, but it don't matter... Because my girlfriend's THE bestest EVER!!! I think I'm gonna sneaks into the Mall and bug her at her works, then maybe tonight after the trench, I'll infiltrate her little home with a movie and some popcorns maybe. Or could we watch West Side Story?

fine-whine: nobody comments in my journal anymore

2005-02-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

Is it because my recent entries are too obscure and you don't know what to say? Is it because you're boycotting this place or rather "inthisplace" for some unapparent reason. I miss comments. It's reassuring to know that somebody still visits my journal, otherwise I might start a new one on livejournal.com - people seem pretty adiment about commenting there... Sorry, that sounded like a threat, maybe it was "just a bit".

worship

2005-02-12T01:51:00.000-08:00

i am naked without knowing
just a heart overflowing

my eyes are burning

2005-02-10T16:23:00.000-08:00

So here I am; procrastinating sleep again. I don't know why I don't just take my nap already - it's not like I have important things to do or that I'm not at all tired, because I am tired, temendously tired... Umm, gotta go take a nap.

fervent

2005-02-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

i know that there's more than this
the ocean doesn't end at it's surface
i'm not here to fulfill my pupose
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
You, not me
Yours, not mine
when everything dies i pretend everythings fine
show me how to be
give me eyes that really can see
because i dropped my lamp in mire
i lost grip among my own self-pleasing desire
i am not what i struggle with
i am not sin incarnate
but he'd have me believe it
and i'd pretend i didn't see it
i'm not blind
i'm also not fine
because i'm not in Your will all the time
and maybe i can't always be
but i know that direction will deliver me

"Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. " Isaiah 50:7

no, that's a supernova!

2005-02-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

I have experienced few things as exciting as drawing our giant dreams in your little notebook. Maybe stars aren't for wishing, maybe they're just there to illuminate the things that are already coming.

take me away

2005-02-06T15:05:00.000-08:00

I long, yes, I faint with longing
to enter the courts of the LORD. With my whole being, body and soul,
I will shout joyfully to the living God.

How happy are those who can live in your house,
always singing your praises.
Happy are those who are strong in the LORD,
who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs,
where pools of blessing collect after the rains!

Psalm 84:2,4-6

you made me see

2005-02-05T16:27:00.000-08:00

It has come; to my attention' that I "have' no, understading, of .proper$ punctuation, whatsoever!*

i'll show YOU how to make a salad

2005-02-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

So stuff and things and junk... I ordered a 1GB stick of ram the other day for my notebook and it got held up at customs because I needed to pay tax on it first. Darn governments! Yup, so I'll be getting it sometime monday. I bought all kinds of wonderful foods yesturday, including two huge blocks of cheese and two boxes of croutons! I also bought something like 60 granola bars because I'm obessed with the "Nature Valley" trailmix kind. *licks chops*

I get to see Lindsey tonight *flails arms* and we're gonna watch Moulin Rouge (I bought it yesterday and she happens to be doing a paper on it for skooz). Thoroughly pumped about that one (spending time with Lindsey, not so much the paper).

I'm hungry, so I think I'll go eat something other then myself now. Peace out yo!

gee-clash

2005-02-02T23:02:00.000-08:00

(check it)
geeks rap two
that's why i'm throwin it down
we're an inferior race to you
that can steal your bank account
it don't matter if you're black
could be yellow, red, or white
but if you do it on computers
you' probably just to bright
forget that
i'ma sett'n it strait
geeks are sick and tired
of what you 'spect us to take
we gonna stand up now
not afaid to instigate
we'll initiate
countdown from ten just to contiplate
you can't opporate
nothing but a hot plate
you need us to survive
so forget this debate

what makes me sweet

2005-02-02T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm not exactly sure, but when I find out I'll let cha' know.

;) <3

wow 2005

2005-02-01T14:05:00.000-08:00

Alrighty, so I'm back in the habbit (but I'm doing it with more style then Woopy ever could). I feel like Rocky when he does the little jog sequence with that classic heroic theme playing in the background. *Throws two jabs at the computer screen* Yup, just like that. Stuff has been all over, ALL OVER the place for the last little while, and by stuff I mean, EVERYTHING. It kinds feels like walking upsidedown for two weeks, and now that the headache and dizzyness are gone I think I have a shot again. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful people by my side encouraging me in my life with Christ (his life, actually). I've been feeling a huge breakthrough in worship lately, so I think I'll be knocking a lot more things over (accidently ofcourse) then I normally do. Umm... WOW!

if you love my tuna-melts, i just might be inlove with you

2005-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

Short story: We cancelled our Shaw Internet and we're getting Telus on Tuesday.
Long story made short: God is good. And here I am.

*I exhale and appreciate my breath and it leaves*

i am such a criminal.

2005-01-27T21:35:00.000-08:00

So here I am, sitting on the cement part of our flower-garden on the front lawn. It's practically a spring night as far as weather goes (I should be wearing some sort of sweater though). I feel horrible in more then one way right now. *Sigh* I just spoke with someone from Shaw internet because our connection gave up it's life sometime arround 5:00 this afternoon. They'll be sending someone by our house Tuesday afternoon now, which has me a bit worried since earlier this month I decided it would be a good idea to remove a certian cable-tv filter from behind a certian locked cable-box connection so I could get certian cable-tv's for a very low price. Now I have to completely remove the box and make it look like they forgot to put one on or something. To top everything off I am now leeching off a wifi internet connection from someone accross the street (sneeky, sneeky).

My roomate went to bed at about 7:30 tonight.

*Feeling lonely*

i'm sorry shawn

2005-01-25T16:14:00.000-08:00

All I want to do right now is anything but what I'm doing. Working until your eyeballs fall out; maybe if this was an Olympic sport I could concider this training. I wish I could be there and that I had a bunch of impressive posters to show you... Instead of failing to meet one, now I've failed to meet two; dead-lines are killing me (maybe that's why they're called DEAD-lines).

I love you.

and they called him "number three" AKA "tripod"

2005-01-24T15:15:00.000-08:00

Quick question, "Am I the only one that likes to watch Usher video's and then try to dance just like he does?" Key-word: TRY. My guess is the lot of ya have had similar urges. *shakes fist at computer screeen*

Speaking of urges, I have a good one to dye my hair today. Speaking of good, good thing I have a whopping 15 dollars to work with until next payday... *meh*

"I love my dog gonna feed him some pasghetti!!!"

the belt buckle says it all

2005-01-22T02:05:00.000-08:00

O better far to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly
Then play a sanctimonious part
With a Pirate head and a Pirate heart
Away to the cheating world go you
Where pirates all are well to do
But I'll be true to the song I sing
And live and die...
A pirates king

bornday equation

2005-01-21T16:48:00.000-08:00

1 Vintage t-shirt containing most halarious Australian stereotype
1 Homemade beaded bracelet
1 Love-song singing puppet that resembles your girlfriend
1 Pre-mentioned girlfriend that misses work to spend time with actually sick boyfriend

= 4... no, 1 undeserving but very happy birthday boy

twenty years wise

2005-01-20T23:09:00.000-08:00

I'm watching my hair turn gray as I write this. It appears that twenty years is the backside of a proverbial hill, and it's only downhill from hear, baby. Woops, just lost a button off my shirt from the sheer force of my gut! What's this, a pot-belly? I'm turning into... Oh my, I have old-fart's desease ALREADY!

*Sheds a tear for his youth*

if i'm tigger, you're my bounce

2005-01-19T21:44:00.000-08:00

The wonderful thing about tiggers is... myself and the Disney character are the only one(s).

my stupor-power

2005-01-19T02:58:00.000-08:00

I wish I could shoot lazers out of my eyes. Sometimes I even dare to wish I was simpler... and then I slap myself. Speaking of, wouldn't it be the coolest if anytime a sound-effect occured it was displayed in comicbook-like yellow text above out heads and with way too many exclamation points! e.g. '!!!SQW!!ALP!!!!!'

Man... that would be cool.